Question: How do I know if I am ready to consider marriage?
Answer: This is certainly a timely question in that most of our readers either did something “special” or received something “special” for valentine’s day and are therefore feeling more inclined to deepen their relationship with that “special” someone.
Your question might also be helpful to those who found themselves all alone and wondering whether they should perhaps be a little more pro-active in seeking a companion.
All warm fuzzies aside, let it first of all be noted that marriage is one of the most important institutions God has established on earth and it is not an estate into which one ought to enter without very serious thought, prayer, counsel, and preparation.
For that reason, I am going to give you fifteen questions that you need to consider regarding your motives, level of maturity, and prospective spouse before going any further in your consideration of marriage.
If you can answer these affirmatively, then it would seem that you are ready to consider the possibility of marriage. If you cannot answer these questions with an honest and unreserved “Yes”, then you may not be ready for marriage.
If you do not understand some of these questions, I would encourage you first of all to spend some time looking up the passages included in the parentheses. Read them slowly and carefully. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you understand what they say and how they apply to you.
Finally, pre-marital counseling with a qualified pastor is an absolute must. He can help you work through these questions alone or as a couple.
1. Do you feel alone and incomplete as a single? (Genesis 2:18; Matthew 19:4-6)
2. Has it become obvious that you do not have the gift of singleness? (1 Corinthians 7:1-2, 9)
3. Have you rejected all the pseudo-spiritual heresies regarding singleness? (1 Timothy 4:1-5; Colossians 2:20-23)
4. Are you seeking first the advancement of the Kingdom of God? (Malachi 2:15; Matthew 6:33-34)
5. Do you realize that the desire for marriage and sex is good? (Hebrews 13:4; Proverbs 5:18-19)
6. Are you heartily committed to remain sexually pure before marriage? (Songs 8:4; 1 Thessalonians 4:1-3)
7. Are you ready and willing to have children? (Genesis 1:28, 9:1; Psalm 127:3-5)
8. Are you able with sound judgment to give your consent? (1 Corinthians 7:36-38; Genesis 24:57-58)
9. Is your prospective spouse a born again and baptized Christian? (1 Corinthians 7:39; 2 Corinthians 6:14)
10. Does you prospective spouse abhor idolatry and heresy? (Deuteronomy 7:3-4; Nehemiah 13:25-27)
11. Do you realize that physical attractiveness is fleeting and even deceptive? (Proverbs 31:30; 1 Peter 3:3-4)
12. Is your prospective spouse sufficiently unrelated to you? (Leviticus 20:19-21; 1 Corinthians 5:1)
13. Are you honoring your parents in considering this decision? (Exodus 20:12; Genesis 24:1-67)
14. Have you sought that spiritual safety which comes through having a multitude of counselors? (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, 18:1)
15. Are you truly ready to make an ‘until death do we part’ commitment? (Malachi 2:15-16; Mark 10:2-12)