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I recently had the opportunity to attend the General Assembly of the Orthodox Presbyterian Church as a commissioner. My appointed advisory committee was Appeals and Complaints, so I was also intimately involved in some of the more sensitive work of the whole church.

In the midst of our many discussions and debates, I took mental note as statements were made to this effect, “Brothers, there’s not a feminist hiding behind every bush” and “All proposed change does not stem from a secret woke agenda.”

That, of course, is perfectly true and I sincerely hope that I did not give the impression of being overly-reactionary in my efforts to conserve what is still good in our church and to resist all perceived progressivism.

At the same time, comments such as these seem to indicate a certain cultural naiveté that is becoming increasingly common amongst Orthodox Presbyterians. The feminists were hiding behind bushes way back in the 1950s and the woke agenda (more properly called Cultural Marxism) began its long march through our American institutions even earlier than that.

Today, we are all living in “Woke Gardens.” It is owned and operated by the “Global Anti-Patriarchy Alliance.” There is, therefore, no need for our ideological enemies to lurk and hide behind bushes anymore.

Gen Zers are aware of this and they see us whitebeards as hopelessly out-of-touch with reality. That’s why they came up with the dismissive slur, “OK, boomer.” To be sure, that is a very disrespectful saying and no Christian should ever speak that way to a superior, but the insult has become ubiquitous with good reason.

Besides our cultural naiveté with regard to feminism, another example would be racism. I know a lot men who honestly believe they are not racist because they try to be “color blind” in their estimation of others (i.e., judging people by the content of their character rather than by the color of their skin). That was the aim back in the 1960s, but that was then, and this is now. Under the new model of race relations, ignoring a person’s color is actually an act of racism. Welcome to Woke Gardens.

Another example would be the old American ideal that “all men are created equal” and should, therefore, enjoy equality of opportunity as they pursue life, liberty, and happiness. That ideal is no longer sufficient due to the discovery of centuries of systemic oppression. Today, there must also be equality of outcome. Again, welcome to Woke Gardens. The equity enforcement department is on the left.

If these examples sound confusing, or if they have your head spinning a bit, it is proof that you simply do not understand the times in which we live. Further, if you really think guys like me are worried about what may be hiding behind the bushes, think again. Our only concern is that we will soon be the ones who are forced into hiding when our day pass to Woke Gardens expires.